So they didn't lie to us, and as a result we have always known that the fun characters were make-believe. We haven't banned Santa and the crew from our home, but rather we embrace the fact that they're pretend. A game. They are simply my parents' alias around Christmas time or when we lose a chomper. Anyway, whenever one of us kids loses a tooth, the procedure to wake the Tooth Fairy from hibernation is as follows:
1. Announce the great landmark of your childhood in the kitchen, or some other busy family congregation with lots of witnesses.
2. Drop hints throughout the day like, "this beauty is going under my pillow, tonight!" or "I wonder what I'm going to do with my crisp new dollar tomorrow morning!" and of course something cute like "the tooth fairy is gonna have one new pearly white to add to the collection, in just a matter of hours!"
3. When mom and dad are tucking YOU in, brandish the tooth before tucking IT in.
4. When they forget to leave the bacon, come right out and say it the next morning. The idea is to get them to feel convicted about their negligence. No mercy!
5. Just wait for your lucky night.
Now, us kids are all just about past the stage of loose teeth from natural causes (when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and said I didn't want to keep the souvenirs, I was probably missing out on my last chance at revenue from the tooth fairy). Alyssa is basically the last one, and she just lost a tooth on Saturday. Ya! So, when she quickly got to step four, she really laid the guilt on thick. We were driving home from church on Sunday when she brought up the sore lack of molar moolah under her pillow that morning. By the time we pulled into our driveway, all four of us kids had told stories about the tooth fairy's belated services. So dad remedied the situation by claiming that the tooth fairy had a new rule: the tooth must be placed in an envelope, or else it will not be accepted. We all laughed and forgot about it until later that night when I witnessed the tooth fairy at work. Dad went into Alyssa's room and came back out laughing at a note from the unsatisfied little client:
2. Drop hints throughout the day like, "this beauty is going under my pillow, tonight!" or "I wonder what I'm going to do with my crisp new dollar tomorrow morning!" and of course something cute like "the tooth fairy is gonna have one new pearly white to add to the collection, in just a matter of hours!"
3. When mom and dad are tucking YOU in, brandish the tooth before tucking IT in.
4. When they forget to leave the bacon, come right out and say it the next morning. The idea is to get them to feel convicted about their negligence. No mercy!
5. Just wait for your lucky night.
Now, us kids are all just about past the stage of loose teeth from natural causes (when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and said I didn't want to keep the souvenirs, I was probably missing out on my last chance at revenue from the tooth fairy). Alyssa is basically the last one, and she just lost a tooth on Saturday. Ya! So, when she quickly got to step four, she really laid the guilt on thick. We were driving home from church on Sunday when she brought up the sore lack of molar moolah under her pillow that morning. By the time we pulled into our driveway, all four of us kids had told stories about the tooth fairy's belated services. So dad remedied the situation by claiming that the tooth fairy had a new rule: the tooth must be placed in an envelope, or else it will not be accepted. We all laughed and forgot about it until later that night when I witnessed the tooth fairy at work. Dad went into Alyssa's room and came back out laughing at a note from the unsatisfied little client:
I'm not sure if this violates any tooth fairy regulations, but I guess that's the advantage of working with locals. Mom and dad are usually willing to acquiesce to such unusual requests...especially when, being perpetually late, they are subject to the wrath of such a snarky, gape-mouthed kid.
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